Friday, September 4, 2009

I'm engaged!

When I posted my engagement on Facebook, I knew I would have a lot of explaining to do. Since I haven’t spoken to many of my FB friends in more than a year, I can imagine how surprised you might have been to see the pics of Darek, me and a diamond ring. I have known some of you since high school or earlier, others since my Detroit days and others for only a few months. To keep everyone in the loop, here are some Engagement FAQs.

1. How long have you and Darek been dating?
That’s a complicated one. The short version is 10 years on and off. But to be more specific, we dated nonstop for three and a half years, broke up for five and a half, and now have been dating for the past seven months.

2. Wait a minute, you dated him for nearly four years and then broke up? When was this?
That was back in high school. We met winter of my freshman year (his junior year), dated until I graduated in 2002 and then broke up the following summer. We had both been each other’s only serious relationship, and decided that we needed to go our separate ways. I wanted to start college as a single girl, and I was pretty sure that I’d find my future husband there – not in the Maine East fieldhouse. Interestingly enough, I remember explaining why Darek and I broke up, and saying, “There wasn’t really anything wrong; I just don’t think he’s the one for me. But he’s a great guy – I would write him a recommendation for another girl!”

3. So how did you two get back together?
We hadn’t seen or spoken to each other in five years when Darek called me one day last November to catch up. I had become single that July and was living in Detroit. He was also single and living in Chicago. We chatted briefly on the phone (what do you say to someone you haven’t seen in five years?) and then went our separate ways. Then in December, Darek called and asked if I was going to be home for the holidays, and whether I’d mind if he stopped by my family’s house. I said sure, and he came over on Christmas day. After a somewhat awkward reintroduction, he invited me to stop by his family’s house to say hi. This was all quite formulaic until the drive back from his parents'.

I won’t bore you with the details, but basically – in a very “Love Actually” manner – he confessed that he still had feelings for me. It seemed natural sitting next to him and hearing his voice again, but I was certainly not about to get back together with my high school boyfriend. Anyway, he dropped me off at home, and I packed my bags to leave for Detroit the next morning.

It was 7:30 a.m. when the doorbell rang. There was Darek. Disheveled and somewhat embarrassed, he looked at me and said, “I can’t let you go.” To make a loooooong story short, I let him drive me the five hours back to Detroit, during which we caught up on five years of lost time. By the time we were in Kalamazoo, I was falling in love with him all over again. He was the same genuine, compassionate, intelligent, levelheaded guy I knew in high school; only now he was more mature.

After that weekend, we kept in touch over the phone, but resisted any attempts to start a relationship. We were both busy with other commitments and both of us knew that if we were to start dating again, it had better be for real. In February, we decided we were ready for “for real,” and in April (when I moved back to Chicago), we finally decided to tell our friends and family.

4. Wow, that’s quite a story. Are you sure he’s the one?
He’s everything I could ever ask for in a husband, and more. I am 110 percent positive that I will never find another guy who loves me this much, treats me this well and makes me this happy. I know I could never love anyone the way I love him.

5. Sounds great! So when’s the date?
We haven’t picked one for sure, but we’re looking at next summer. I’ll keep you posted. :)